iron bars can't hold my soul

the dream

2009-10-23T02:39:00.002+08:00

What started off as a dream, which might or might not have been fulfilled... is now a reality....

every muscle in my body can tell you that after hip hop rehearsal.

Each day i do not bang skins, I feel wasted.

Arts school is where I belong. Knew that since I was a kid. Too bad society makes that hard for parents to see. I can only imagine where I'd be by now if I was allowed to train professionaly as a dancer and not in front of the TV everytime I saw MJ...

Oh well... there's a long road ahead... and we ain't stopping anytime soon...

just got my double pedals today... they're amazing.

can't wait to try them out

fucking wasted day

2009-10-11T19:18:00.002+08:00

My goodness!

I can't believe I just wasted the entire Sunday on Facebook and sleep.

Marketing is a bitch.

Time to hustle starting tomorrow.

and had a fucking quarrel too....

why can't the world just be my and my drumset... practise sleep perform sleep practise sleep perform sleep.... good body, good nutrition, good weather and looks just automatically come to me.... why not like that... why not god why not... why................

lazy weekend

2009-10-04T13:57:00.003+08:00

sighs this weekend was lazy as hell

friday night dinner with harris was aite...

beer was good...

saturday woke up at one instead of 6.... went to school and practised from 530 to 730 on the piano... hope we all pass theory by some miracle...

then went home tried out the jazz hotlicks for a while... ok they're not bad... and ya while it gets a bit irritating to keep playing in triplets, it really gives a good swing to your memory...

then slept quite early to wake up today... went gym... think i'm going back to the MUSCLE book i used during canoe... instead of making up my own workouts... it always feel like you've achieved something when someone superior directs your training programme rather than you, and you finish it properly... that was some good shit man... worked my arms to failure during chest and back... and abs was pretty darn shaky too...

anyway.. gonna start homework now... if only we had no history and business modules... haha...

thinking of shaving my hair again it's grown a bit... probably will later... sighs...

whoop de doo i hope i get through technical exams with some good jumping colours... dunno about flying yet the way arif and izzat were going on about it is like all the musicians at lasalle suck... no wonder there are no big artists in singapore... fucking musicians (probably myself included)... can't even get through a technical exam with ease... that's just ridiculous...

jesus christ anyway... see you guys hope you had a more happening weekend than me...

just felt like putting this in for fun

damn!

Damn i haven't posted anything here recently...

2009-09-27T18:24:00.005+08:00

What do we know

I'm now in Lasalle!

school's a killer...

can't believe i got sick by overworking... who knew huh...

oh well...

jsut went for my first paig gig yesterday... to watch... not to play...

was cool... arif on mike, rich and his friend on guitars and chuan hao on drums...

chuan hao was good... so were ... wait actually they all were...

i saw Flawed Element's singer there... he was giving kai looks... hahah... dream on bitch...

oh well...

i was SO into lasalle that i got convinced that having 100% attendance is key to having good marks... that's so fucking not true...

so i'm skipping tomorrow to rest at home... got this fucking runny nose shit going on...

shaved my head coz dad had a problem with my mohawk... i think my mohawk looked amazing...

oh well... life goes on and all goes well... cheers fuckers...

chick

2008-08-19T00:30:00.000+08:00

my chick rocks.

my band rocks.

my friends rock.

i need to learn how to rock. seriously.

my bike

2008-06-01T02:20:00.003+08:00

I forgot to mention... i passed the 2B test and got

a phantom... yeah baby!

eminem - sing for the moment

2008-06-01T02:11:00.000+08:00

These ideas are nightmares to white parents Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings Like whatever they say has no bearing, it's so scary in a house that allows no swearing To see him walking around with his headphones blaring Alone in his own zone, cold and he don't care He's a problem child And what bothers him all comes out, when he talks about His fuckin' dad walkin' out Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out His thoughts are whacked, he's mad so he's talkin' back Talkin' black, brainwashed from rock and rap He sags his pants, do-rags and a stocking cap His step-father hit him, so he socked him back, and broke his nose His house is a broken home, there's no control, he just let's his emotions go... Sing with me, sing for the year Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears Sing with me now, just for today Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away [Verse 2] Entertainment is changin', intertwinin' with gangsta's In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum Holy or unholy, only have one homie Only this gun, lonely cause don't anyone know me Yet everybody just feels like they can relate, I guess words are a mothafucka they can be great Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate It's like these kids hang on every single statement we make Like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum Now how the fuck did this metamorphosis happen From standin' on corners and porches just rappin' To havin' a fortune, no more kissin' ass But then these critics crucify you, journalists try to burn you Fans turn on you, attorneys all want a turn at you To get they hands on every dime you have, they want you to lose your mind every time you mad So they can try to make you out to look like a loose cannon Any dispute won't hesitate to produce handguns That's why these prosecutors wanna convict me, strictly just to get me off of these streets quickly But all they kids be listenin' to me religiously, so i'm signin' cd's while police fingerprint me They're for the judge's daughter but his grudge is against me If i'm such a fuckin' menace, this shit doesn't make sense Pete It's all political, if my music is literal, and i'm a criminal how the fuck can I raise a little girl I couldn't, I wouldn't be fit to, you're full of shit too, Guerrera, that was a fist that hit you... Sing with me, sing for the year Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears Sing with me now, just for today Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away [Verse 3] They say music can alter moods and talk to you Well can it load a gun up for you , and cock it too Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude Just tell the judge it was my fault and i'll get sued See what these kids do is hear about us totin' pistols And they want to get one cause they think the shit's cool Not knowin' we really just protectin' ourselves, we entertainers Of course the shit's affectin' our sales, you ignoramus But music is reflection of self, we just explain it, and then we get our checks in the mail It's fucked up ain't it How we can come from practically nothing to being able to have any fuckin' thing that we wanted That's why we sing for these kids, who don't have a thing Except for a dream, and a fuckin' rap magazine Who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long Idolize they favorite rappers and know all they songs Or for anyone who's ever been through shit in their lives Till they sit and they cry at night wishin' they'd die Till they throw on a rap record and they sit, and they vibe We're nothin' to you but we're the fuckin' shit in they eyes That's why we seize the moment try to freeze it and own it, squeeze it and hold it Cause we consider these minutes golden And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone Just let our spirits live on, through our lyrics that you hear in our songs and we can... [CHORUS X2] Sing with me, sing for the year Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears Sing with me now, just for today Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

You ain't leaving.

2008-04-29T05:14:00.003+08:00

this is an original.
music composed by shorya sharma
singing/songwriting by zephyr khambatta
song link coming soon.

lyrics:
Now Imma tell ya
Why you ain’t leaving
You ain’t you ain’t you ain’t leaving

Ya coming over today
The drinks they make me sway
Going south for miles and miles
Thinking of what to say

My mind is such a mess
This big damn thing called stress
It wipe the thought process
And I’m thinking underneath your dress

But baby now for real
Yeah I got this feeling
That at least for one more day
You ain’t you ain’t you ain’t leaving

Yeah
That’s right
That’s what we said
You ain’t you ain’t you ain’t leaving

Now come on baby boo
I’d buy ya a pair of shoes
I’d take you to that party
I’d even clean your room

Them girls they just for show
You know that you my hoe
We got wet in the damn rain
And Imma give you blow

Come on baby don’t go
I won’t spoil your show
I’m gonna carry your shopping bags
Coz you girl you my hoe

Come on come on come on
You ain’t you ain’t you ain’t leaving

You know you love me
You know you’ve got me
Tell me… you ain’t leaving

You know I’m worth your while
You say you like my style
And now you wanna leave
Coz I gave someone a smile?

Come on baby you can’t be serious
Look at your face you must be delirious
When we look back on this someday
I know its gonna be hilarious

Too serious too soon
All those nights we spent
Looking at the stars
And the big white moon

Your car is at the door
My feet they scratch the floor
I’ve got very little to say
Wonder if you want more

Now that’s the way it always is,
Whose is it now, hers or his?
The job to say I’m sorry
And I’ll never again do this

It must be mine
It must be mine
It must be mine
It must be mine

Would you believe me
If I said I’m sorry
I’d never cheat again
And that’s a promise

You put your hand on my face
And then gave me a warm embrace
And a look that would stop my sinning
That started up the healing
We stood there for an hour
And then we took a shower
Your hands on mine your lips on mine
They fill me up with power

You accepted my apology
You made it seem like just a dream
I admire your courage
Now it burns through me like a furnace

Thank you baby girl
For this wonderful feeling
For telling me yourself this time
That hell yeah you ain’t leaving

Now we’re back like we used to be
Sipping cold beers under the trees
It feels excellent to be young
So careless and so free

I’m staring at your body
It look good in blue
If I were to spend my life
It’d be with you, with you

And that’s why
You ain’t leaving.

disclaimer: this is absolutely fictional. don't contact me or kairavi asking whether we broke up or i'll seriously make sure you don't have a mouth to ask after that.

hooking

2008-04-27T22:13:00.002+08:00

the ball rolling in slow motion
he stretches out his stick
the ball touches it
the old defender runs past him to guard the goal and then turns back to face him
before the ball slows down against his stick,
he fakes it left, making the stick fly over it violently,
he knicks it right,
pushes it away...
slides forward like a cat and slaps it to the guy hovering at the goalmouth

the guy at the goalmouth fucks up
i love this game =)

lifehouse - broken

2008-04-18T17:15:00.002+08:00

The broken clock is a comfort,
it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
from stealing all my time

I am here still waiting
though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best,
like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart,
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
that's still beating
In the pain
there is healing
In your name
I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning
you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded,
I'm an open book instead

I still see your reflection
inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose,
they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart,
I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart
that's still beating
In the pain
there is healing
In your name
I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on
another day
Just to see what
you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on
to the words you say
You said that I will
be ok

The broken lights on the freeway
left me here alone
I may have lost my way now,
haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart,
I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart
that's still beating
In the pain
there is healing
In your name
I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

my beautiful drumsticks... today

2008-04-17T17:04:00.002+08:00

it always seems
like i'm too slow...
i can't keep up...
with my girlfriend's hopes...

then late at night
i thrash around
not getting sleep
wondering what's that sound

it's my brain...
going tick tick tick...
one day it's going to shatter...
like my drumsticks...

yeah i broke.... (pause)
mybeautiful drumsticks... (pause)
todaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy.....

yes i'm the inadequate one
yes iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm the one to blame...
for growing up this stupid way
since everyone was born the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame...

did some genetic fuckup happen
did some bones grow wroooooooooong...
all i did was feel some pain in my heart and then
fucking write this sooooooooooooooooooooong....

i'm a hot hard raging male...
who she wants to turn into a gay....
well i'm supposed to be ok with that ...
i'm supposed *pause*
to have nothing *pause*
to saaaaaaay.............

and i broke... *pause*
my beautiful drumsticks... *pause*
todaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy.........

daddy i'm sorry you must have been right...
getting a girlfriend is a fix kind of tight...
if we're really getting along
then i wouldn't fucking have wrote this song...

i couldn't contain myself any longer...
i'm supposed to make my oestrogen stronger...
supposed to shut up
supposed to pull up
supposed to be a bloody fitter man for heeeeeeeeeeeeer...

i picked up my drumsticks
tears were in myyyyy aaaaaaaaaaiyes...
i caressed their black paint one last time
and then i said baaaaaaaaaaaaiye baaaaaaaaaaaaaaiye...

yes i broke...
and you broke....
and i broke...
and she broke...
and i broke...
and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaiye brooooooooke *pause*
my drumsticks *pause*
todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

daddy i broke ...
the drumsticks you boooooooooooooooooooooought...
todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

ever feel

2008-04-16T11:27:00.002+08:00

ever feel like ,

bigging your nails into your own flesh? pulling your own hair out? running head on towards a fast approaching car? risking it all to throw yourself out of the window and feel the RUSH?

ever feeel like screaming your whole fucking lungs out.

now's that time.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Class 2B License!

2008-04-07T13:43:00.002+08:00

YEAH BABY WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
2B BABY YEAH.... BIKE LICENSE HHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA

i failed the test. 2nd time. my next date is may. in may, i'd have registered at the school for 1 year 8 months and not passed yet. and the money.... holy fuck...

hysteria

2008-04-06T11:54:00.002+08:00

with those sticks in my hand
and the thumping of my brand
i keep the faith of a devotee in god
and sometimes when i'm lucky, the tempo of the band

the body moves a like a chain
extending to my sticks
the beat takes my consciousness away
like 1o hot babes thrown in a mix

it's my freedom, my runaway train,
the sublimaion of my fear,
it's joy, it's running amok,
for my blood cells mass hysteria.

it makes orgasms look like children,
it makes thunderstorms look happy,
it makes aircraft carriers look small,
it makes my competition look crappy.

it's my best friend,
it's my simple plan,
it makes my colours unfurl,
if i didn't already have one, it'd be my girl.

sit in my room,
sip an ice cold beer,
when the hair on your back stands,
you know you've been hit by hysteria.

holding on

2008-03-26T00:15:00.002+08:00

i just finished 2 years of NS, working my ass off for this nation so people sleep safe at night.
i was then taken on a forced trip to India for 50 days.
i was then forced into a job for a month which i then had to quit for no fault of mine.
i now got a better job with a slightly better salary.
i work shifts and had not much free time coz of triathlon training, drumming, gym, tuition and studies.
i now cancelled triathlon training and will be playing hockey instead.
i've freed up some time and agreed to meet her twice.
and now, apparently we've had a "communication breakdown".

damn what am i even alive for.

Silent

2008-02-19T21:28:00.003+08:00

In this world
Of you and I
I fail to make noise
Silent... I lie

The thoughts they break my stride
The lessons they make me cry
Your kisses they make me smile
Your gentle hugs, they crush my inside

In this world we fuck around
Your words in my mind they pound
Silent... I lie...
Silent... I lie...

She touched my skin
It burnt with a hiss
And she tempts and teases
And makes me chase her elusive kiss

You run around makin all the boys stare
Such curvy hips with a cute face are rare
I'm holding them with a careful hand
And you don't even know the name of my band

In this world we fuck around
Your words in my mind they pound
Silent... I lie...
Silent... I lie...

Nobody knows what we do
Nobody knows how much I love you
Nobody sees beyond our skin
And we touch it makes us grin

In this world we fuck around
Your words in my mind they pound
Silent... I lie...
Silent... I lie...

She strut and she shake
She make the rest look fake in her wake
I try and try and try to play
But she say we didn't do shit on valentine's day

Silent... I lie... Silent... I lie...

and they say that a

2008-02-06T07:36:00.000+08:00

hero can save us....

i'm not gonna stand here and wait....

hey hey

2008-02-06T07:31:00.000+08:00

i wanna be a rock star

the most relaxing weekened ever

2008-01-26T12:45:00.000+08:00

haha this weekend has the least things i need to do.

initially was gonna be busy like this morning and afternoon would have been spent with kairavi and then the evening there is a prayer with the IRO as usual at some government funtction followed by dinner with all the bigshots. but i was gonna skip that dinner and head over to Ruiyang's church's barbecue. then tomorrow morning gym followed by going to check out a drumset i found on mocca.com at Jurong East which was going for 350. then followed by dinner with gz and ruiyang.

but now. kairi's dad asked her mom to follow her out if she went out. so she doesn't want to meet. if that was me, i would have asked my mom to follow till we came face to face with my boyfriend and then held his arm and said bye and walked off. after all, i am 21, and a singapore citizen. by law i'm an adult and have free will. oh well. then evening now the prayer has been postponed and if i go for the barbecue i'll reach there at 9 by which time it'll be over (?!?) so i'll be dining with the priests and the bigshots. gym is still on tomorrow morning. but the drumset guy sold it off for 400 yesterday. and there's no plan for the evening. knowing them they'll call me tomorrow evening and say wanaa go out?, knowing very well i have work the next morning.
this is my exciting life.

yay!

this song

2008-01-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

start the day get driven to work
feel like shit haven't ironed my shirt
the sun is rising the moon is gone
and the pain in my heart makes me write this song

the ipod's playing OC
the riders they fly free
and the birds they call
from tree to tree
this ride, it's very long
and the pain in my heart makes me write this song

it seems like just for you was meant my birth
on saturdays for years our hearts full of mirth
and we hide and we hide from them who brought you here
i told told told you it's wrong
and the pain in my heart makes me write this song
this song

bridge:
would it have really hurt if we told them earlier
defnly better than how we cry so all over
now that he's back in singapore town
i'm defnly gonna give him som'n to frown
it's enough it's enough girl of your advice
to your parents your folks i cudn even be nice
and they treat me like i'm invisible
like smoke from dry ice
now shut your mouth and stifle your sobs
and of my ebbing childhood don't give me a rob
now the big boys are gonna play
and don't you join the fray
your dad may be mad but he ain't seen mine
a half hour of talkin and it'll all be fine
a shout and a scream
maybe a punch..

and you'll forever be mine, muh-mine.
muh-mine, muh-mine mine.

the evening wind, it whips my hair
a plane flies to changi, the noise make me aware,
that on the return trip to wherever
you coulda been gone forever
but now things are good albeit forlone
at least i know now you'll never be gone
and the pain in my heart it makes me write this song. this song.

i reach my house, the sun is setting
the shredded clouds, the colour upsetting
i have never known a wait so long
and the pain in my heart it makes me write this song

some years from now
when our kids are clubbin out
we're gonna laugh at this as we'll be old and worn
and you're gonna tell me i once wrote a song...

zk pk mm and km

2008-01-22T14:32:00.000+08:00

what a long story this is turning out to be.

pk loves zk. ck loves zk. zk loves km. km loves mm. km loves nm.
pk agrees to zk loving km as long as mm let's km go.
but mm loves km so is not letting km go.
pk doesn't know this.
but actually mm is letting km go slowly, but zk has a tendency to fuck things up.
pk doesn't know this.
zk loves km and tries to be funny and ends up spoiling mm letting km go slowly.
so mm wants to take km away.
zk told pk about this and pk didn't reply much coz he was sleeepy in the morning.
ck however told zk to relax just like km told zk to.
km and ck are smarter than zk.
zk is quite smart himself, just gets distracted at times.
now ck pk zk and km have to shut their mouths while nm tries to tell mm to relax.
but mm cannot relax just like zk. of course, they're both egotistical men.
and km and nm are just too scared to do anything. they're scared women.
for the time being, zk and km are gonna chill out.

interestingly though, when zk + km, you get, k (z+m). which means when k is removed, z and m are together peacefully. except... zk hasn't +ed km yet. they're both virgins.

which means the solving to this problem is a baby. but of course that doesn't work in today's society.

haha and i'm so good with coming up with crap.

did you fools actually read till here? thanks for reading =)

tired... satisfied... satiated...

2008-01-11T19:47:00.000+08:00

well what can i say, it's been a hell of a time since i came back to singapore...

firstly... i returned to hockey last saturday with amrik's family as usual... was fun as always with all the cursing and swearing... my fitness is still there... need to work on ball control... overpowering every pass... reminds me of hafiz... got scolded as usual... it's always like that with them when u return after a long time :)

other than that hockey session... i've only had two gym sessions.. those too halfhearted... but damn... the six meal a day with two protein shakes a day shit works!! just two workouts later i'm about 60% the largest i was when i was in india...

the thing is this... my parents are right... i always have the best resources for the job but fuck things up. well that's been true... always... except for sports... but now it's true for sports too...

you see in secondary school for hockey... i had low fitness and no one to teach me how to build it... an extremely good stick but too long for me (no one even told me. fuckers.)... hindrances in the form of my dad getting in the way when the coach said everyone buy contacts and he refused to and even went to talk cock with the coach... him making noise about extra trainings... despite all that... i took it upon myself late in sec 3, and started to up my fitness... coach was impressed for a while... until... i missed one week of training coz my brother was in the hospital and that cost me a place on the team in sec 4.

in canoeing... my paddle was chipped, the coach was a fucker, the school was being pissed off about us training and making issues that there would only be water training when the teacher in charge was free... the fuck. this is canoeing... not track you jackasses. most of our trainings HAVE to be on the water...

then... i got this weights programme. it's magic i tell you. but no one believes me yet.. coz i haven't been able to follow it consistently enough because i had to stop after season for the As... then NS two years and then the india trip...

now... finally... i have some time on my hands... i have enough protein in my diet... enough time to go to the gym thrice a week, AND the first time i'm getting paid in my life... time to get the show on the road.

work's been a little bitch. cannot eat in the lab... and i sleep so late every night that the next day is hell... coz of the cycle... i had to skip weights today... hence only 2 weights sessions instead of two... sighs... but i'm still growing fast thanks to good nutrition... oh well...

the OC is as lovely as every.... getting sadder though... about the lowest number of characters to date (season 3)

ok i gtg have dinner now... facebook is a bitch too... too addictive... and now i went and made my friendster profile nice too. MY LIFE NEEDS TO BE SIMPLIFIED. jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!!!

the babe

2008-01-04T13:52:00.000+08:00

the babe is back at school...

a different school than mine... again...

sighs... considering after degrees, people work
and that most companies do not allow family members to be working together,

guess we were never in the same school or workplace after all... except hindi school... which can't really be called a school...

and you can't really enjoy yourself knowing that the person you want to flirt with most is in another school... well at least i can't...

damn it

frustration and then... a solution...

2007-11-28T15:40:00.000+08:00

damn those indian buses... i waited for 45 minutes for one and then it turned out to be a short trip... jeeeeez!

today though... took a train for 4 rupees which is 16 cents.... and 16 cents back... throw in a coffee for 16 rupees, 64 cents and the total cost of the morning was... less than a dollar! hah!

anyway i'm glad kairavi's finally decided to admit she's human... i could hear real happiness in her voice over the phone when she told me a busload of guys were catcalling at her... haha... last time she used to be like... "so disgusting... chhii".... HAHAHA good times...

anyway i guess the severe lack of cost for basic necessities here makes up for the gym cost which is like 225 rupees per entry for a what we're call a "normal" gym in singapore... like clubfitt... which is S$2.5 per entry... 225 rupees is S$9 per entry... and the place is 2.5 times smaller than singapore clubfitts... it's smaller than the old rj gym... fuck man these people...

my weights up to 63/64 kilos... from 62/63... hope that's muscular weight... have been getting bigger in the mirror... only way to determine is to go back to singapore and measure though i guess... the body fat percentage...

anyway... i shall be getting to the gym soon... after lunch... got to come back and TRY to start studying chem... though i've got two excellent novels waiting for me untouched... but Dr. Zhao's gonna kick my ass if I join his lab in jan and i dunno shit about my A level chem... which i never did anyway... fuck...

lots of nepali/tibetan chicks here... they're quite attractive... but the level of dust pollution and heat just kills your appetite for anything including food... i'd rather just sleep the whole day away...

that day my cousin dilnaz, who happens to be a little striking, zeus and I were walking outside a mall when this middle aged man, probably married was coming at us from the opposite direction... we were walking 3 astride... dilnaz on my right, i in the centre and zeus on my left... and the guy was apporoaching from zeus left... from about 5 yards out he started the typical indian leering stare... and just wouldn't move his eyes.... so when he came really close and we were about to cross, i reached my left hand up over zeus's shoulders and snapped my fingers right in front of the guys face, getting his nose... he would have seen it coming... but he was too busy haha...
and if that was kairavi on my right... that snapping of fingers would probably have been a tight fist... ahh i can't wait to try my first one... but she's not here with me in bombay! AGAIN! this must be the mfucking most slow love story in the world... oh well... patience bears fruit i guess... hope rather... or i'm gonna be really ticked off.

What a night it was.

2007-11-04T19:53:00.000+08:00

Well to start off everything, I went to bbqwholesale.com and got stuff from there. Good decent food. Good prices.

Thenwe started off with a few guys and I took a video of Azami throwing his fishing rod into the water.

So after us guys got bored waiting for more people/girls to arrive, I went to play soccer... And being the thoughtful git that I am growing up to be, I actually asked Pramit to answer it for me, knowing Kairavi would call right... So at least the phone won't go unanswered in my bag, which is what I always get scoldings for. Finished playing soccer and came back to the seats. Dr. Chris was there. Said hi etc etc... Soon we left for 7-11 to get stuff and to get Kai. I saw her and walked towards her while the rest walked into 7-11. And I leaned in close and asked her for a kiss and she's like "No! You're sweating"... err ok... "I'll only kiss Pramit, coz he was the one who answered my calls while somebody was playing soccer."

Go Figure.

Anyway that mood changed shortly and everything was good all night long... well almost... haha... i was drinking from bottles and acting like a drunk pirate on the shore... was fun... we were too drunk to take many pics but here are the few that we took...

ghost rider

2007-10-07T00:10:00.000+08:00

i so shouldn't have watched this movie.

now there's no way i ain't getting a bike.

the penalty shootout.

2007-10-04T21:45:00.000+08:00

i think... regret is the biggest pain in the world...

i should have taken that flick. i know i should have. i think it's time i start taking chances in life....
nizam. alamak sial.

we lost and got 4th place... on flicks... it was 3-3.... then 4-3... and we missed the fourth one. FUCKING WIDE AT THE TARGET.

not much injury today... knuckle knocked up... about it...

time to resume weights and getting HUGE!!

wow

2007-09-25T23:33:00.000+08:00

who knew that i'd go from pussy to slacker to waterboy to cameraman to trainee to right half to you should play forward huh?

not me... that's for sure....

haha... and they used to call me a slacker...

2007-09-24T17:07:00.000+08:00

well today we went for training, me and jau...

we reached the place early... silence enveloped us... the court stood there... beckoning... and then... we called sir amarjeet... and then... he said he'll called kiranpal... and then.... he called back and said... oh he's locked up the balls somewhere... you can have your time off... sorry... see you tomorrow at the match... HAHA

you know the thing with being and average player? you feel like it's your fault if your team loses... and you can't do shit about it. so... i guess... if you were godlike... you could probably take things into your own hands... and turn the game around... and then if you still lose... it kinda won't be your problem anymore... you can blame it on everyone else...

well.... there's work to be done then i think... see ya

the dumb things in life

2007-09-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

there are so many dumb things in life...

one of which would be jealous people... i really can't believe that there are THAT many jealous people in the world... and being jealous is fine it's only human but when they let that jealousy drive them to trash talk people... that's just so... lame... i mean if i was jealous of something/quality/person that someone possesses, i'll probably work towards attaining that and in the mean time, letting the person know that i think that what they have is awesome...

but some people are just weird...

for example, from today's training, ok screw it... i don't even want to talk about it... the person knowing that they don't have what i have is good enough revenge for me...

and just for the record... saying someone who's brilliant at something or at least better than you at it, sucks, is not making that person any less capable at it... it's just letting others know that you're a sore loser. and stopping and gaping at someone's fitness isn't a bad thing either.

other dumb things i think are dumb dumb and dumber.
how a stupid referee could cost you an important game... and hence a tournament

ok i think i'm just too tired to talk and i kinda forgot what i intended as other dumb things... good night...

holy hell

2007-09-17T12:20:00.000+08:00

the past few days have been full of stuff to blog about except that there is no time with all that stuff going on to blog...

let's see now...
hockey,
weights,
riding lessons (TP's been postponed to 5th Nov, one day b4 ORD)
prayer lessons to this kid,
NS obviously,
drumming sessions (in and outside home)
and housework...

cheebye... it's a miracle i'm even here typing this

i'm actually supposed to be at work today morning... with an off pass in the afternoon for hockey training...
hahahah....
but mdm had no choice but to approve my off... coz i smsed her at seven something saying i overslept... which is true... but the real truth is even whackier and i haven't told anyone except beng so far...

what happened was... i was bobbing in and out of sleep since 0430 when's my brother's stupid alarm rang... he was going for a run... the jackass didn't wake up... and then i had asthma so took the inhaler... then i was pretty much in and out of sleep till 0530, my time to wake up... it so happens... that when the alarm on my phone rang... i was dreaming... but heard the noise and when i looked at my phone... it showed weirde numbers.... like 56:34... and i was like, what kind of time is that?!?! So i panicked (in my sleep) and messaged Mdm saying that I wouldn't be at work today... (in my sleep, and hence didn't actually happen)... but i drifted off into deeper sleep with that assumption and woke just before my dad walked into our room and looked at my phone and saw the time to be 7 something and i was like HOLY SHIT. then i realised that i hadn't actually messaged mdm and that was still in my sleep earlier and now i had to message her and this is what i came up with "Dear Mdm, i don't know how to tell you this. I've been really busy all weekend and my mom's coming back today, so my dad was asking us to clean up the house yesterday... We slept around one... And i didn't wake up on time. Can I use the half day off that I have as this morning please? Coz anyway I have hockey in the afternoon..."

By now, in real time, Mdm has shown that message to my boss and dy boss and there is some new rule... got to sign for offs and leaves three days in advance... sheeeeesh!!!!!

WTF.....

Videos from the Penang Trip

2007-08-27T11:57:00.000+08:00

where the fun is

2007-08-26T15:15:00.000+08:00

i know you're indian

your eyes are big

your eyelashes are long

the soil your people dig

you came to singapore

probably against your wishes

just like sometimes

i hate to do the dishes

i stared at you in class

the hours just seemed to pass

i couldn't study much

and got a B3, but that shit's in the past

haha

we have grown together, you and i,

at numerous times we seem to cry,

tears of sadness, tears of joy,

and sometimes, without even knowing why...

no doubt you may have thought

about going back sometimes

but you can't go back

and here's why...

there will be no short white dude there,

no zephyr to hug,

no protruding chest,

on which you feel so snug.

no boyfriend who knows you in and out

the pain will be yours to bear

for this is boy's hometown

and thus it's only fair

that he remain here

with the chinese hawkers and the sui zing pao

with such a taut body

he can make you say wow

no baths together anymore if you leave,

no soft kisses on your cheek,

no hot coffee in spinelli

no fun from this freak

so if you need solace and going home is,

i wouldn't stop you from hearing your call,

but here's where boy zephyr's abs are

and here's where the fun is :)

sacrifice

2007-08-21T12:56:00.000+08:00

i don't belong to me
i long to be free
it hurts, this fire,
burning up my brain
like tossing and turning in bed
when you have a sprain

what was a spur of the moment choice
has now bcome my life
is there such a thing as right and wrong
is someone watching?
does it matter whether we sin or whether we are noble
does it matter whether we have one or many
choices ring through my head like in a song

do the righteous rise up in this world
or get outdone by the sinners
do the righteous really shine in the end
and turn out winners?

that is yet to be seen i guess
i'm turning 20, a quarter of my life's passed me by, no less.
should i keep trying to be the best?
or should i be a devil, and outdo the rest

it's easy to be free and easy
and hard to be steadfast and nice
but i'm waiting right here
and making the damn sacrifice.

penang, batam and life in general

2007-08-19T16:38:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,
it's been a tiring few weeks trying to fit lots into my schedule...
came back from penang last weekend, then this weekend went to batam on saturday

Penang
Penang was pretty fun... the food was good though we didn't really try anything very special like seafood or anything... condo was pretty noisy really with sid and ajay... but that just added to the fun so it was great... i think i slept the most out of all of them... but that wasn't nearly enough beauty sleep... as in seriously... i don't know what some people in the world are out to prove by only sleeping 4-5 hours a night... that they're tough? not by the looks of how ryan gets by in the office... or not by the looks of the dark circles under their eyes... i mean come on... the human body needs 8 hours of sleep OR MORE. i know i do...
we tried to go clubbing at night but that wasn't very fun... ok it was on the first night... coz sid and ajay were really dancing well... and when you see someone happy your mood just goes up...
what doesn't make ur mood go up though is when u catch many girls eyes and you know you're attached and u don't do shit coz ur that loyal... yeah hari and i experienced that loads.. welll.. but given a choice... i'd rather be a little bored when my single friends are enjoying themselves rather than be a fucker.. choices... choices...
taxi drivers ripped us right off... got a tan somewhat... we weren't out in the sun much though...

Batam
Batam is nice and pretty dirt cheap... except the ferry which is 22 bucks around there... and 10 US dollars for the VISA.
the weather was a bit rainy... but the food and the activites oragnised by my mom's company was awesome... made two friends there... students from SIM... bought back a pack of ginger coffee which i'm sort of addcited to now...

Life in general
Well many friends going all over the world... met Andrew this morning in the bus... IN THE FUCKING BUS!!! WHAT A COINCIDENCE EH? and he was at the bus stop earlier too... but i didn't realise...
we used to go swimming together in primary three and then come back to school and pick rambutans from the rambutan tree outside the eco garden... and eat them... all the crap we did in Swiss... miss that place... kai went with me to visit it few weeks back... i almost cried...
then lubna came back and we haven't met yet... and she's leaving next week friday so have to meet her sometime next week... both of us have work so at night after work i guess..
then shen yue keeps popping in and out...
met my priest friend today too... aarish... at the parsi new year lunch...
it's really sad when people leave and never come back... or even sadder when they leave and come back and leave again...

anyway the reason i like the O.C. so much is that... i never got to try all that... dating random chicks... and stuff... fooling around with your friends mom... i dunno breaking up 2wice a week... it would have been fun i guess... and now i'm too much of a nice guy to try any such stunts...
coz love... just wins over in the end... always does... and u can't knowingly cause much hurt to one you love... not that i want to of course.. i couldn't be happier... but i'm just saying... it would have been interesting to get a attached a little later... seriously...

love

2007-08-17T16:05:00.000+08:00

love is sacrifice.
love is pain.
loves hurts.
but there's gain.

east coast and hockey

2007-08-05T08:47:00.000+08:00

haha!

had the best saturday of my life...

went to east coast in the morning with kairavi... we cycled for two hours and ate at this turkish restaurant later and then we had out first ***h together. haha.

came back all sunburnt and shit... still am... but curiously no peeling... i think staying hydrated and eating healthy food helps... then sarinder (tejinder's brother) calls and says we'll be under your block in 4 minutes... for hockey... and i was like in my singlet and ... in my singlet... coz i just had a shit right...

and that was the fastest i've ever left my house... ran down...

hockey was fun... scored about one out of five or six... and the rest of the time when i was running for goal... i ran so fast it was hard to slow down in time and make a proper cross and many times the ball jsut rolled our the out line... i know stupid right... made a complete jackass of myself...

all old uncles right... one told me... eh ur like a bloody mrt train la... slow down la...
more advice included, look up and pass, good good follow him, make him pass, stay with that man, don't pass into his stick, and about one compliment, nice goal la deh.

ya i know i suck... for now... but at least i can run fast... which helps... ok riding lesson in 51 minutes... see you guys...

love

2007-08-03T19:36:00.000+08:00

love is a strange little thing innit....
just when you thought u were in a fixed relationship forever and hence know everything there is to know about it it surprises you day in and day out...

recent happenings:
1. kairavi is drop dead gorgeous right... ok not DROP DEAD, no one dies when confronted with sheer beauty but definitely, and it always happened to me and still happens to others when i say, "stop in your tracks" kind of gorgeous right... and recently... she brought to my attention... that i've stopped complimenting her... or telling her how good she looks... and apparently everyone's doing it except me... haha... shit man... life's a bitch... if only girls knew how nervous guys are right... then she would know that the moment i see her everytime looking more and more like a woman and less and less like a cute little humpty dumpty school girl, my blood like freezes, my chest and back alternate in spasms and my palms start to sweat... and my stomach races round and round my internal cavities.... and that saying "hi..." is a not a cold and hard-to-get and miserly greeting but something just manageable from quivering lips... oh well... now she knows :) that i still love her as much and even more and still get just as numb as from seeing her in that hindi school uniform which covered her from neck to toe...

2. on facebook there's this new dumbass thing called "compare" thingy right... and it pops up random friends and asks questions like who is kinder who makes a better mother etc... and it popped up her and some other GUY, guy mind you, and asked who would you rather hang out with for a day... and i answered kai of course thinking about the day we were going to spend together this coming saturday.... guess what i got this morning? "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU COMPARED ME TO YOUR FRIENDS" hahahaha! weird right! it's just a silly little app on facbook and she was upset like as though i went around telling other girls that they would make better girlfriends than her or something.... cute right!

eh kai, *SMOOOOOCH*. then she called back and said sorry... wahahahahahaha. that's even more funny.... and even cuter *HUGS*

3. the way kairavi has started talking about running away together like in fairytales... yeah that's how crazy we are about each other... when once she refused to believe that i liked her...

4. the way thinking about that person ur in love with is an ache. ouch.

haha....

2007-07-27T21:30:00.000+08:00

good evening welcome back to zephyr's blog...

finally updating after a major roller coaster week

got my ipod back after investigations...

was thinking about writing rather deep stuff tonight but i'm kind of sick so i'll just take it easy yeah...

going back to swiss cottage if i feel well tomorrow

going to have dinner with the president at night... haha sounds good when said like that eh?
nah it's that buddhist function at the expo where i gtg pray... yeah president will come shake hands and stuff...

i feel so tired of life... and yet so ready to go... and then this stupid weather comes and screws it up... why can't it just be sunny every day and starry every night? screw clouds man....

zarathushtra! ahura mazda! come on... help us man...

D DAY 2007 170707

2007-07-17T20:24:00.000+08:00

jesus christ.
what a day it's been.
i should stop saying jesus christ. i'm a zoroastrian priest. i picked it up from ryan. westernisation they call it.

anyway.
today was like
early morning kai calls.
oh my dad's coming back from india (where he works) to talk to me about you.
few minutes after that
my spinelli card gets retained coz i pulled it off the reader too early before the payment was done. god!
after that, my ipod gets confiscated. by DSO security. they're giving it back tomorrow. coz i told them our chief clerk says it's legal and i didn't know the DSO policies.
logically if there's no USB cable, what's the problem right? no means for data transfer what...
then... they found porn though... yeah this playboy movie i downloaded... shit. that's not allowed according to SAF. will have to see dr chris about that. my boss.
then edison screwed up mdms name by doing stupid things like letting out inside info.
then edison reading other people's emails from their ISAC cards (mine and beng's), which beng brought up at the meeting (which I and he decided we should)

oh ya the meeting was about discipline at PCC. long drawn meeting... and all things said and done, my heart goes out to two people. CPT (DR) Soh Teck Hwee, is an awesome person. And secondly mdm Cecilia Tan. I would give them whatever they ask for, pronto, from now on. God puts himself in some people on this earth, and i feel i'm one of them (correct me if i'm wrong), and my dad and mom are another two, kairavi is one... and these two people are 2 more...

all i know is... from tomorrow... i will serve the remainder of my NSF life with a lot more respect for officers than i have till now, and also, will keep in mind... that no matter what kind of shit we are put through, god is watching, and even watching those, who put us through that. And that is the biggest solace of all.

it is interesting how a good person like myself gets fucked left right and centre. and it is in my nature to try to be friendly to all the wrong people and just get more hurt in the process...

so tomorrow... i will start work with a new attitude, with the forgiving nature of dr soh, with the calculated risks of mdm cecilia, with the perseverance of my parents, with the smiling faces of my friends and with the love of kairavi... i will do my best to be nice to all people. i will ignore those who ignore my niceness, and not hurt them unless it be absolutely necessary to drive a point across.

often they say... to err is human, to forgive is divine. i personally disagree with that. because it is slack and carefree to forgive. you are ignoring the problem. i would rather deal with the problem constructively. solve the problem, teach the person what he did wrong, and let there be no cause for forgiveness from that person ever again. that i think, would be divine.

cheers
zephyr
170707

declaration

2007-06-29T21:41:00.000+08:00

fuck you.
and fuck them.
and fuck ereybody tha ga prablum with zephyr khambatta

productive week!!

2007-06-23T19:25:00.000+08:00

well done zephyr!

wow this week was hot.
and tiring...

monday work then weights.
tuesday work then riding.
wednesday work then weights.
thursday work then riding.
friday work then weights.

that leaves... 2 more lessons before the riding test...
today met kairavi...

now at home... trying to turn magic into a money making scheme in a while...

met marc joe when we were out... he looks big as ever...

i love kairavi...
she makes me wanna do it.
no i dun love her coz of that...
but ya she does make me feel that way....

somebody stop me.

fucking idiots

2007-06-23T19:17:00.000+08:00

the next one that does it, i swear i'm gonna punch him black and blue. i don't care if it's in front of fucking policemen if it is.

what the fuck do they think the guy walking next to his girl is? BLIND? well maybe they do. BUT I'M GONNA LET THEM KNOW I'M NOT. FUCKING BOIL MY BLOOD KNOW MOTHERFUCKERS.

and only the indian guys do it. coz they obviously know she's indian. eh cheebye think what indian so can stare ah...

and then all the indians i know complain when chinese bitch about them. sometimes, i think they fucking deserve it. lecherous bastards.

but then again, kairavi's eyes just captivate anyone who looks at her.
but then again, she wasn't looking at them, coz they're unnattractive.
the attractive ones can be forgiven, and so can kairavi for staring at them, coz that's the way human beings function. heck if she wanted to stare at a guy all day long i wouldn't mind... coz i want to give her everything she wants in life...

but those guys are fuckers. some are married. god, what kind of people have u made in this world?

i thank you, for not making me one of them. thanks :)

you can stand under my umber ella ella ella ella ey ey ey

2007-06-10T21:59:00.000+08:00

hmm... the weekend...

friday night had motorcycle lesson... yesterday went for a haircut... got to constantly maintain the damn thing now that it's growing back from BMT... then went to get groceries for mom... then went to bless the new officer cadets at SAFTI, at their commissioning parade. that spawned and triggered off a whole wave of thoughts about me signing on all over again... i think i'll never be fully over it... but the fact remains... that i wanted to be a real soldier in a real army in real operations. ya some part of me is a tough, ruthless man... hard to believe but true.

then came home and washed up my sbo and helmet and things and they dried till this morning... stayed over till 3 coz yi-da came over with some new magic cards... traded a bit... slept at three... woke up this morning at ten... went gym... came back... went plaza to get dad's father's day gift and kairavi's birthday gift... also got rihanna's latest album...

i dunno her life story or her on a personal basis, but she inspires me somehow... i dunno... maybe it's the having a funny nose like i do... or something a bit imperfect about herself and yet making it this far...rihanna... her name's a bit exotic like mine i guess...

anyway.... now it's night... after coming back i packed for work... now ready to wash up and sleep...

engineering approaches... hope i can master it somehow... till a while longer... see ya...

fun day at work

2007-06-08T13:55:00.000+08:00

hahahah
i 'm at work now... i'm on a frikkin i net pc haha...

had clinic in the morning where i half formulated my magic deck...
then helped mdm a bit as clinic was closing... with some downtime mc thing...
then since kian chong is ording today and today is a friday and the level 6 guys felt like going for some mega lunch thing... 12 of us went to anchorpoint... gosh that place is nice... especially bloomington that card shop... bought some wacky door signs... then mdm was coming over to AH for a despatch so we just trooped down here to meet her and go back in a cab together anyway since kian chong's leaving straight from here so that makes 4. cecilia, dr soo, me and edison...

anyway later going to gym for the first time in 6 weeks....
tomorrow going SAFTI for prayers... then sunday weights again... i'm keeping weights up for the next few weeks... finally a time in my life where aerobic activity won't hinder the figure building and i've enough time after work to do weights and all... since now ryan's taken over PTMC and there's no more tuition...

oh ya just had a motorcycle lesson yesterday...
tried to lane change about 5 times... almost died... about 5 times....

ok tired of typing bye...

if i was a company

2007-06-04T22:31:00.000+08:00

if i was a company, a corporate organisation, an advertisement, or a school...

this would be about the best motto i can think of describing it.. i.e.. myself...

"at zephyr khambatta, we do things right"...

and in smaller print below...

"mind you we get damn pissed if they don't happen that way the first time... "

and then in slightly larger print again...

"but in the end, we get it right one way or another"

hah... returned to work today at MMI. i was a bit dazed with everyone staring at me like some object on display... just come back from tekong and all that...

read a bit of the novel "the hard way" by lee child here and there... came home. spent a while grooming. had a bath... went to start a little bit of maths and physics... checking email along the way... prepared dinner for me and my bro... washed all the damn vessels myself... now blogging... then washing up and saying good night to kairavi... and sleeping... damn i'm pooped. night.

the bigger picture

2007-06-03T21:42:00.000+08:00

bmt is over. i'm finally military trained. on paper. one insecurity less in my heart.

tomorrow morning work starts at MMI with a muster parade. where? in a parade square? nah... in a field? nope... a basketball court? nope. seminar room. really.

just now was a bit sad ah... haha during dinner me my bro and my dad all sitting watching some deep hindi movie about singers making their careers.

my dad was there alone without my mom, she's in india.
zeus was there along w/o a girl, he doesn't have one yet.
and i was sitting there thoroughly pissed at the fact that due to some deep rooted beliefs in this world, which are based on nothing mind you... i and kairavi can't be together at peace. and it's not like those people are bad or anything. they're lovely... but it's this deep rooted belief in some societies that just pisses me the fuck off.

anyway... getting back to my title... the bigger picture... people always say this phrase left right and centre.

ok let's look at the bigger picture... we're little dots (or even smaller than that) on a big beautiful mass of brown, green, blue and white and people call earth... we're slogging half our lives to earn money... to spend on our kids when we produce them and sacrifice our joys for theirs. so basically, we're fucked. and then when we really can relax, when we're old, is when if we do.... we're even more screwed, coz we'll get fat, on top of withering skin and white hair. wow...

shit man i'm depressed... somebody help me. no as in seriously. i'm not kidding.
i know after reading this post only one person will respond... my girlfriend... ya no kidding... the others will just keep quiet and pretend they never read this....

ya the world is that fucked up. that's the bigger picture.

darkness

2007-05-26T02:23:00.000+08:00

dark have been my dreams of late

for six weeks i have struggled and strived... and now... it comes to an end in three more working days. re-bmt over!

range on monday followed by one day of slacking and then one short ceremony and hopefully, i'll never see tekong again...

i still can't believe i did it. with the painters annoying my sinuses with weird scents of different paints all through the six weeks....

when there's a will there's a way i guess...

it's 0230Hrs. chao.

long weekend bookout and stayover at sid's house

2007-04-29T12:27:00.000+08:00

sighs...
having a long bookout.

friday afternoon to tuesday night... love it ;)

friday i just spent at home unpacking and getting used to singapore weather again...
yesterday late morning to evening i spent with kairavi...
then at night watched my documentary show air on vasantham... wha damn nice sia having half an hour to yourself on tv...
then after that went over to sid's place... to watch the mfucking cricket finals that kept getting delayed... in the end i watched two overs and then went to sleep...
woke up this morning and watched step up with the guys at his place....
then we went to play soccer... just came back a while ago....
had a bath....
now typing this...

going home soon... got lots of things to do today...
got to return charis her racket....
then study...
then plan for kairi's birthday card and anniversary gift AND write her a belated valentine's day card... uh oh...
then go gym....
holy crap....
i better leave soon...

see y'all

overall it's has been and is gonna be a great weekend...

oh and i made a damn good friend at bmt... his name is brian ong... he's animesh's and pramit's damn good friend from AC... he's just like animesh... the same dumb looks... the same way of laughing and the same weird jokes... and the same understanding... it's creepy...

then i told him then he was like you're just missing animesh la so ur trying to look for him in me....

then i was like...,. hmm... maybe....

okok i gtg see y'all bubye...

muah.

just finished one week of bmt

2007-04-22T01:17:00.001+08:00

hello everyone....

it's one week of re-bmt done and i feel... great... and tired...

it's not as slack as we thought it'd be... the superiors are all warrant officers and master sergeants... no officers around...

but they're really nice and jovial

basically i take great care of my internal self... loads of water you can't even imagine... one hour about one litre... brush after every meal and gargle... fruits galore... throw in weight training and pullups and abs and runs... gosh i've pakced on mass like never before...

today's saturday night... or sunday morning... bookin is today night at 2030Hrs... it's 0121Hrs right now... had a wonderful time with kairavi today... then watched the first episode of the roots programme...

i'll be on TV next weekend! WOOOHOOOO!
catch me from 9pm to 930 pm on the 28th of april saturday on Central. i look like a dope though coz i was really sleepy everyday... hardly slept...

anyway the people at this recourse are very nice... all corporals like myself or thereabout... and we're not treated like recruits thank god...

i'm finally gonna shoot the mfucking M16 if all goes well and as a resolution, i will not visit the medical centre even once this course. I believe i have the capability to take care of myself.

if my previous course was like this one... i would have been in OCS or SISPEC by now... jesus...

anyway everybody take care...
and... drink LOTS OF WATER. IT HELPS. trust me.

BMT ON MONDAY!

2007-04-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

holy mother bull crap

monday bmt starts... shit... feels great to be back in tekong...

got loads to study and train...
if there is loads of free time like they claim there is... hope they weren't kidding...

now quite late... bro wants to play game of magic....

i'll post again tomorrow...

out.

A song i wrote half drunk

2007-04-01T18:06:00.001+08:00

Glue

19
just turning on 20
my heart’s going boom
my mind’s a frenzy

these girls everywhere
them blouses gonna tear
we up in the club
scoutin here and there

it’s Clarke quay in the night
every second glance there’s a fight
their jeans so tight
they bling shinin with the lights

I don’t know what to do
My mind is all confused
These girls they looking so hot
Bringing our eyes out with their pop

I got this one chick who’s mine
She look so bloody fine
And then there are those flirts
With those micro mini skirts
They always givin their numbers to us
And drinking vodka out of jugs

Oh what should I do
My mind is so damn blue
These girls these girls they oh so sticky like
Giant potsa glue

Like a quiver full of arrows
These girls I hold in my heart
They bite they poke they whistle they scream
They want some more they want some more

They shakin their goods
Like they being paid ta do it
And out they spill
From they jeans that don’t fit

Oh what should I do
My mind is so damn blue
These girls these girls they oh so sticky like
Giant potsa glue

NS is a real bummer
I wanna be a drummer
My hip hop moves don’t get me far
Coz music is the way to a girl’s heart

But then again they like it
They come to me and grind it
She shaking her hair
We moving with flair
I don’t think I can fight it

Oh what should I do
My mind is so damn blue
These girls these girls they oh so sticky like
Giant potsa glue

What what what what what sh should I do?
Wha wha what wha what should I do?
I stick to them they stick to me
And we’re sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky wooohooooo

Our bodies are sticking they’re sticking like glue.

fucked up life....

2007-03-22T19:56:00.000+08:00

let's see now let's review my day...

we had a fucking long MDSW, managing difficult soldiers workshop. we hold that course for warrant officers etc who have men under them and sometimes can't cope with guys who can't cope...

it ended later than planed and i got late for a riding lesson... means i lost 20 bucks there... then took cab to try and not be late for the riding lesson but there was a traffic jam so i lost another twenty bucks there coz i have to pay for kian chong and beng's rides home after me too coz it's my fault they took cab with me so i can't possible ask them to pay
another 20 bucks. 40 bucks over nothing. guess i'll just have to stop booking riding lessons on weekdays in an attempt to complete it fast...

come to think of it... that is what i was doing exactly untill my parents said that i was too slow so i started booking weekday lessons and look what happened!

anyway then i come home and decide i'll let all my motherfucking frustrations out with a good run like old times and ta-da... some son of a bitch stole my track shoes last night... they're just not on the rack today... so i now i have to keep my shoes INside. in a fucking 3-room house. i mean how much more cramped can my house get?

and to top it all off... fucking NUS wants my documents wants to be sent for this application again... not like i'm going to get into chem engin... just by applying... by studying maybe yes... but by applying straight into it? with BCCE and an A2? no way motherfucking.

to think... that geeky zephyr nerdass khambatta... would live to see the day he got refused entrance into a frikkin university course is bad enough... now to have a fucked up physique w/o my running shoes is even worse...

chee bye noe this fucking life...

and i didn't pray today in anger coz if there is a god... this kind of shit wouldn't happen. i know i'm a priest but fuck la... i'm just too jaded to be bothered.

why should i hold on to u

2007-03-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

why?>????

adulthood nears

2007-02-02T18:25:00.000+08:00

been thinking lately
it's my life... it's wrong
the way i feel at home
listening to them sad songs

there's never a right time to say goodbye
there's no such thing
yet we say it on the phone everyday
with tears welling up in our eyes

why can't we do all the things we like
why can't we eat chocolate of each other's tongues?
why can't we breathe chest to chest till we feel each other's lungs?
why oh why............

chorus:
it's coz... i'm the army
and i like to party
girl ur my shorty
but ur mom ain't happy
i'll wait for you for years
take away all your fears
lick of all your tears
but girl i grow impatient...
as adulthood nears

my parents say i'm lost
like a blind human on all fours
but still my heart screams more
these sinful pleasures in life then
whatever did god create for

every day our love deepens,
like the creases on our faces
the inequality of races
chinese shouting indian
indian shouting chinese
mats don't even have a place

who created this world
everything's a blur
u make my heart flutter
u slice through it like a hot knife through butter

as i stare at my hands
oh the perfect sculpture
hulk like veins
pollute little innocent pieces of flesh and bone
they've committed acts
acts like uncouth vultures

it's time to turn my life around
to make my hair again brown
with endless hours of sport and studying during rest time
me reading your thoughts over the phone... like a fucking mime...
the pathetic life... of a student always who frowns

why oh why....
can't we cohabit babe...
why oh why...
can't we party?

chorus:
it's coz... i'm the army
and i like to party
girl ur my shorty
but ur mom ain't happy
i'll wait for you for years
take away all your fears
lick of all your tears
but girl i grow impatient....
as adulthood nears

girl...
if u think ur hot then show me what you got...
if i put you in artic water will you sizzle like tequila pop
i know i've told you what to do with your body
if u don't like children... then we can't party...

our parents think we're wrong
but i say we're right
god says so himself
he made me look like a knight of old
and you like a cute elf

chorus:
it's coz... i'm the army
and i like to party
girl ur ma shorty
but ur mom ain't happy
i'll wait for you for years
take away all your fears
lick of all your tears
but girl i grow impatient...

come quick
come quick
jump into my arms

adulthood nears...

-zephyr 2007

those kids that he signs

2007-01-19T19:04:00.000+08:00

ridiculous! without even trying how do they do it?

d tseke tsssss dd dd tseke tsss

ok i'm just trying to put a good rhythm into good music... anyway...

whteher askldjad why the widn blows...

akjh sdklijo sdasd ajisfdi bell te tu commo ta pelle tu?

enculei momma si besta de samba mucho gracias je sui nee der phi ku hen taaaa....

hahahahaha

muahahahahahaha

somebody... anybody

2007-01-02T18:19:00.000+08:00

please help

michael jackson - will u b there

2007-01-02T07:20:00.000+08:00

Hold MeLike The River Jordan
And I Will Then Say to Thee
You Are My Friend
Carry Me
Like You Are My Brother
Love Me Like A Mother
would you Be There?

Weary
Tell Me Will You Hold Me?
When Wrong, Will You Scold Me?
When Lost, Will You Find Me?
But They Told Me
A man should be faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World's Got A Role For Me
I'm So Confused Will You Show To Me?
You'll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bare Me
Hold Me (show Me)
Lay your Head Lowly (Lowly)
Softly Then Boldly (Yeah-ah)
Carry Me There (I'm Only Human)

Lead Me (Hold Me)
Love Me And Feed Me (Yeah Yeah Yeah)
Kiss Me And Free Me (Yeah-ah)
I Will Feel Blessed (I'm Only Human)

Carry (Carry)
Carry Me Boldly (Carry-y carry me)
Lift Me Up Slowly (Yeah-ah)
Carry Me There (I'm Only Human)

Save Me (Save Me)
Heal Me And Bath Me (Lift Me Up, Lift Me Up)
Softly You Say To Me
I Will Be There (I Will Be There)

Lift Me
Lift Me Up Slowly
Carry Me Boldly (Yeah-ah)
Show Me you Care (Carrrre)

Hold Me (Whoow)
Lay Your Head Lowly (Get Lonely Sometime)
Softly Then Boldly (I Get Lonely, Yeah-ah)
Carry Me There (Will You Be There)

Need Me (Whooh)
Love Me And Feed Me (Lift Me Up, Hold Me Up, Lift Me Up Sometime)
Kiss Me And Free Me (Up Sometime)
I Will Feel Blessed (Yeah-ah)

(Spoken)In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish
And My Pain
Through My Joy and My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always
In My Heart

kairavi's dad

2007-01-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

uncle oh uncle
you make me pound my knuckles
on the brick wall
and all my hair when i pull it fall

i love your cute face
i know u think i'm a disgrace
but i'm good like strawberry jam
ask my ma'am

one day when you say yes
i'll know i've been blessed
till then i must weep
and from my heart bleed

for such is fate
it makes you wait
if it helps, look in my heart
i could be your best mate

i love you

my holiday in bali and the year end party at Lieutenant Colonel CHristopher Cheok's house

2006-12-31T19:39:00.000+08:00

well i just returned from bali about a week back and there wouldn't be a more accurate description of my holiday there then from my diary that i wrote daily there...

but the thing is... my diary's now with kairavi in her house and she's with her family in bali... a bit ironic that we didn't get to go together... but with her dad's strict views on teenage relationships, we probably won't be allowed to go for about ten more years... sighs... the fuck i get myself into... haha... but it's well worth it. for when i take kairavi in my arms, and smell that smell that lingers around her hair and neck, i feel like if i were to die the next minute, my life would be complete...

people think we're gonna break up, and not end up together, and all this is just infatuation...

oh how wrong they are... it isn't like that at all... it's something else... it's... what makes me decide to go for 20 more pushups when my arms feel like they're about to break... it's... what makes me feel like i'm the most blessed soul on the planet... it's... what makes me respect my parents a lot for agreeing to it... it's... what stops my tears when they are going to flood the room, it's... what makes me warm in the bloody cold december weather.... it's... what makes me smile to myself all day long... it's... it's love... if only her dad was reading this....

ok so i'll type out every single entry in my diary from bali as soo n as she gets back...

and then i'll write about chris cheok's smashing party...

soon i'm leaving for siloso... long time since i've been there... miss it... oh ya for the countdown... ahah.... me... sid... monish... karthick, rahi and karan... hope i and karan don't fight or something... i quarelled with him few months back for the crap that he and his friends did to people like dhanesh and how they push blame from one friend to another... i just found that disgusting... but to each his own i guess... if he and his friends are happy not sticking up for each other... then so be it... i mean who the fuck am i to interfere... i'm nobody... quite stupid of me really... hope i can say sorry to him today...

ok gtg now... it's seven fifty... got to get ready... ya shorts and tshirt la what else to wear on the sand...

flipsyde - someday

2006-12-31T11:22:00.000+08:00

Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

They tellin' me it's all good just wait
You know you're gonna be there someday
Sippin' on Jim Beam ok
Gotta get these things one day
Till then do another line you know
Searching for that other high
Stop or I gotta steal then steal
Kill or I'm gonna be killed
I got a sack in my pocket
Conscious yellin' drop it
You know we're gonna lose it someday
And we tryin' to hold it all together
But the devil is too clever so
I'm gonna die you gonna die we gonna die
Someday one day I said

Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

Try to lie but it ain't me
Ain't me try to look but I can't see
Can't stop right now cause I'm too far
And I can't keep goin' cause it's too hard
In the day in the night it's the same thing
On the field on the block it's the same game
On the real if you stop then it's no pain
But if you can't feel pain then it's no gain
Rearrange and you change and it's all bad
And you try to maintain but you fall back
And you crawl and you slip and you slide down
Wanna make it to the top better start now
So I hold my soul and I die hard
All alone in the night in the graveyard
Someday one day I'm gonna be free
And they won't try to kill me for being me
Hey someday

Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

If you know how this is
Gonna see it's not that easy
Don't stop get it till it's done
From where you are or have begun
I said keep on try a little harder
To see everything you need to be
Believe in your dreams
That you see when you're asleep

Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

flipsyde - happy birthday

2006-12-31T11:13:00.000+08:00

Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been
would you have been a little angel? or an angel of sin?
tom-boy running around, hanging with all the guys?
or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes?
paid for the murder before they had determined the sex
choosing our life over your life meant your death
and you never got a chance to even open your eyes
sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you fought for your life?
Would you have been a little genius, in love with math?
Would you have played in your school clothes and made me mad?
would you have been a little rapper like your poppa the piper?
would you have made me quit smoking by finding one of my lighters?
I wonder about your skintone and shape of your nose
and the way you would have laughed and talked fast or slow
I think about it every year, so I picked up a pen
Happy birthday, I love you whoever you would have been
Happy birthday

What I thought was a dream
make a wish
was as real as it seemed

I made a mistake
I got a million excuses, as to why you died
and other people got their own reasons for homocide
who's to say it would have worked
and who's to say it wouldn't have
I was young and struggling, but old enough to be a dad
the fear of being my father has never disappeared
I ponder it frequently while I'm sipping on my beer
my vision of a family was artificial and fake
so when it came time to create I made a mistake
now you got a little brother, maybe it's really you
maybe you really forgave us knowing we was confused
maybe, every time that he smiles
it's you proudly knowing that your father is doing the right thing now
I never tell a woman what to do with her bodybut if she don't love children then we can't party
I think about it every year so I picked up a pen
Happy birthday, I love you whoever you would have been
Happy birthday

What I thought was a dream
make a wish
was as real as it seemed

I made a mistake
from the heavens to the womb
to the heavens again
from the ending to the ending
never got to begin
maybe one day we can meet face to face
in a place without time and space
happy birthday

What I thought was a dream
make a wishwas as real as it seemed
I made a mistake

queen's tandoor

2006-12-24T11:14:00.000+08:00

the name was queen's tandoor
it made it a case of sour angoor
coz the place was lovely
but i called it crap
coz it filled me with agony

the lights were dim and red
we were fucking well fed

the setting was for lovers in harmony
i was stuck there with my family

i was feeling damn lonely
trapped inside the thoughts of my lovely

i was here and she was there
i was tanned and she was fair

we were hanging on
across borders
by the way the moonlight shone
through the shutters

where did i go wrong
we are apart
across borders
the pain bitter as panadol
the pain sweet as a tart

what did i do to deserve such agony
what did i do to deserve such fate?
all i did was open my heart and mind and soul
and love like a pirate.

-zephyr.

the picture that killed

2006-12-07T22:11:00.000+08:00

the night is young
he's not there
the pictures are clicking
your skin so fair

the dudes arrive
snap pictures five
they pull you close
oh, they're his foes

like a lock and a key
the pictures connect
in his heart's a cut
like a knife can tear

boy on the scene
he smells your hair
it's someone else
someone else was there

he grabs the cam
he presses rewind
in his mind
horror unwinds

you grab it back
and say look at me
he lets it go
thinks you're as cheap as free

when punk held you close
when he pulled you near
when he made you smile
you had no fears

he smiled at you you smiled at him
he looked buff and you looked slim
he nudged your body took your fears away
and he acted like ur boy, he took boy's sanity away

now boy is sad
he wonders when he was bad,
to you, to the world, to god,
to deserve such agony, his mind in fog

boy loves you
boy sheds tears
they glisten in the moonlight
like a million little droplets
like diamonds on a rapper
like stars in the sky
but only poor boy knows the pain he feels inside

only poor boy knows the pain he feels inside (fade)

-wrote it myself haha. purely fictional. right....

a rose in the night

2006-12-06T19:01:00.000+08:00

my head was light and my mind was blank....
i was just drained of soul, mind and body yesterday evening when i arrived at the marriot for YJ's prom night
i had missed 2 nights of sleep coz of my riding test on monday night and my annual medic proficiency test on tuesday, yesterday.
i shoved myself against the wall to prevent me from falling down...

waited for 20 seconds... and turned my head right. and there she was... clad in a red dress that fell to her knees... she sashayed her way up to me and the sight that greeted me was indescribable. It was like someone had been reborn, like a faerie had waved a wand over her. she looked so beautiful i was too scared to touch her... it was magical... i tried to say something and no words came out... my lips quivered, in the way they do before one is about to cry... my knees felt weak, my hands trembled and my spine tingled...

she looked so pretty, erotic, charming, sweet, and sophisticated at the same time that i merely looked at her with wonder... and she said "stop staring" and smirked to herself...

that was the best part of my evening... the rest is not worth talking about.

hockey

2006-11-11T20:56:00.000+08:00

yeah mama

went to play my first game of hockey in 3.5 years today.
can't say i'm damn good.
but certainly can't say i suck anymore.
coz now i can run around like nuts thanks to 2 years of canoeing and can still do the basics with the stick

what i need to improve on is confidence....
i got the most ridiculous chances to score fantastic goals today and i did shit.

i had the ball in front of an open goal and i hit it wide because i tried to revers hit.
i dribbled into the D about 3 times... and lost the ball...
i got the ball passed to me a lot since i kept running into space... and absolutely fumbled like a nutcase with the ball... it's like... you know when you see a murderer in front of you and your legs just freeze? that's what happens to me when i get the ball... dunno what the f i'm so afraid of...

maybe it's the memories...

all i know is... i'm improving and i'm gonna keep at it till i get somewhere.

also i haven't eaten for the past 72 hours.
i mean proper stuff. i've had buiscuits and snacks in minute quantities but not eaten... now i'm off with zeus to the 24 hour hawker centre to gobble down 6 meals worth of food. see y'all

4.5 day weekend friday afternoon to tuesday night

2006-10-21T12:56:00.000+08:00

hello

if anyone again tells me that working in an office job in NS is slack or lowly, i swear i'm gonna kick them.

i had an off pass that starts at 12 and what time did i leave the clinic? 1.40.
because the seniors are too busy flirting with married women who work there and taking them out to lunch, and not standing in for the clinic when there's no one else around. which means i had to take over lorenzo's job when it's supposed to be my lunch hour from 12-1. bloody fucking hell lorenzo.

by the time i reached orchard to meet guozheng it was 2+ (i took a cab!) but lukcy i didn't spend much else yesterday besides that... sheesh...

he bought two singlets from topshop. this is so not fair... he gets to be PTI. Physical Training Instructor. now i can't think of a more fun job than that. honestly. damn the army la...

stupid distribution system. get OOC in BMT means go medical corps. do you know everyone in the medical corps has some kind of medical problem and that's why they're there? what a bloody no brainer...

anyway... went to GZ's house... GZ's siblings are soooo cute... haha funny man... youngest brother and sister.... were just practically running circles round and round me... at the barbecue... each one sat on either side of me... cute but irritating... but cute la... then his sister and brother made each of us (ruiyang, bi wei and me) take turns to carry them...

"uncle uncle carry me" hahahaha!

felt damn bad coz we were just sitting at the table waiting for the food while his mom was doing all the coooking....

i also told his younger brother to go ask a couple of hot chicks who were walking by to join us... haha... then he ran up to them... and apparently said that in english... but they didn't speak english... then he comes back to me and says where are my ten bucks... frikkin loudly man... damn embarrassing...

then he told his dad we're all using the f word in front of him and he basically bailed on us in front of his dad...

hillarious...

then we went up and started laughing and joking and talking cock in his room... about how we're gonna go backpacking next year.... and watching funny videos online etc...

then we went to his brother's room... he's in rj canoeing this year... had a little discussion... about all our old teammates etc...

oh and holy crap... ruiyang still has the RJ shed keys!
yes!!!! that measn i can go and train anytime i want... my body will be back.. wooohooooooooooo

then when it was time to leave his dad walks into the room and i was like... hello sir!
and everyone burst the fuck out laughing... OMG i can't believe i actually said that... then i was like err hello uncle...

then he left then when we were leaving the house he appeared again... and i was like bye sir!
oh crap what is the army doing to me.... then i said bye uncle... then he gave me a salute and said call me sir and thumped my back... sheeeshhh..... embarrassing!!!!!!!!!

then i went home with ruiyang... talked to him about his crumpler... wonder whether i should get one... is it worth it? dunno... i'll see how long his lasts.. maybe then...

till then i'll just stick to my pasar malam policy... i mean come on... cool sling bags for 16 bucks? which idiot would pay ten times the price for a crumpler?

~one of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them~

love

2006-10-18T21:49:00.001+08:00

the days pass...

wrinkles sear our faces....

hairs fall off our heads...

and yet we are apart.

why... why is the world bent on keeping people who love each other apart?

time and again... people have kept lovers apart... and time and again... they have triumphed...

he cannot and will not keep us apart.

he can send her wherever in the world his reach allows. i will follow her. to the ends of the earth if i must.

for what is life...without love? oh this love has definitely taken it's toll on me and it's nothing to sing about...

if aragon and arwen can be together... a man and an elf...
if veer and zaara can be together... people across borders...
then so can zephyr and kairavi...

amen.

fucking flirts

2006-10-16T22:35:00.000+08:00

grrroooooowwwwwwwwlllllllllllllllllll................]

know what happens when u poke a sleeping monster in the eye?

yeah... the monster gets angry....

that's how i get when idiots try to flirt with kairavi...

and one fucker did ... over the phone... and that fucker... he's history...

his name's .... dinesh was it?

if i ever see him in public...

i'm gonna humiliate him.

what's that about forgiving others and some bullshit about big hearts...?

i say bollocks.

butt's are gonna be kicked.

it's gonna be good.

A sunday morning

2006-10-08T12:20:00.000+08:00

greetings earthlings... we have now taken over your radiooooo......

high hit em high hit em high hit em high
you hit em low hit em low hit em low.....

ok shuttup!

ok i have to do lots of stuff today...

woke up and went for a run...
quite a significant drop from J2....
only 3.67 k in 22 minutes...

then did some pullups...
then went back home and some pushups...

now having a cup of tea... and trying to stop this computer from crashing

still got to go lengthen my specs, coz they keep slipping forward...
bring groceries from the market
get a steam
bathe
do maths
iron my uniform
arrange my room
vacuum the house
do the clothes...

sighs... i feel like a husband already... except there's no wife here... she's far away....

ciaoz...

sadness

2006-10-07T20:23:00.000+08:00

i have to say this now or it's gonna remain bottled up forever.

we were four.

guozheng
zephyr
kelly
and xiao tian

kelly left us for heaven in J1. It hurts. and i didn't rush to see her in the hospital. eh... i did... after training one day...
guozheng and xiao tian broke up. i added in.
xiao tian and i fought because she couldn't take me butting it. i shouldn't have.
guozheng and i have practically lost contact. it feels weird when we meet now.

just like me and animesh.

HAZE

2006-10-07T19:24:00.000+08:00

haze you frikkin haze ur killing my looks you dumb shit haze!

can't run...
can't train...
can't walk around without sneezing every 10 steps... bloody hell we went out today to suntec to check out the career fair and to get me a wallet from the wallet shop... and guess what...

i was drenching tissues in like 30 secs each... gosh... suhc a ridiculous outing... and the new specs i got aren't curved on the end of the frames. they're straight like the oakley ones. but they're not oakley so they don't frikkin grip your head like quality frames should... they keep slipping... and i was red in the nose and nose leaking and glassses slipping... all day long! damn hate when that happens... and i'm not even sick! the mucus is frikkin transparent! like thick water or something... that indicates drastic temperature changes in the surroundings... not a sickness ala infection.

glad it's slowed down now....

kairavi said the two girls behind the counter at starbucks were flirting with me... ya right they were just helping out a sick kid... gosh... i looked so ugly today no one would... ok no one in their right minds would...

anyway
life is sucking right now... these specs don't fit... they're orange and frameless but they keep slipping... one sixty bucks! oh no...

kickboxing

2006-10-02T14:14:00.000+08:00

oh ya we were introduced to kickboxing in BMT

when i kickbox at home, i imagine yash's face as the shadow target. taufiq's face wouldn't hurt either...

at home on a monday.

2006-10-02T10:49:00.000+08:00

yup i'm home.

woke up at 6. supposed to leave the house at 630.
bathed by 610. could have easily left...

but then the last thing i do when i bathe is clean my specs. might have applied pressure some wrong way... and one of the lenses popped out. i saw the screw was still there so that was still alright.

then i proceeded to soap them... rinse... screw gone... oh shit!

so i couldn't go to work coz my eye has conjunctivitis (i think) since sayturday morning and thus i couldn't wear contacts to work which i thought might screw up my right eye more...

so i just smsed ryan and told him that i'm reporting sick... but now i've got my contacts on again coz my eye was starting to heal and if it heals too much the doctor might not believe me and not give me an MC for today...

ok i'm going doctor now chao.

dance class + others

2006-10-01T09:40:00.000+08:00

friday's dance class was amazing...

i dunno just felt nice...

hamzah was a bit more sexual than usual....

the moves were nice too.....

suddenly i want to start a dance group...

stayed back to talk to hamzah after class... he graduated from NUS in july...
says he wants to become a lecturer later when he gets older... till then he's just... i dunno...
his degree is in theatre studies...

he told me not to join dance blast in NUS... says it's damn cheena... and damn racist and they don't know head or tail of what they're dancing to...

haha

anyway.... yesterday got like a bad sore eye... still have it... this green/yellow stuff keeps oozing out of the inner side... near the nose... kairavi said it's coz i have a cold...

yesterday was amazing romantic weather too... i just hugged kairavi and didn't let go...

now in a few minutes i have to leave for prayers... hopefully earn some $$$

ok dad's ready gtg see ya

clubs babes and motorcycles

2006-09-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

hello!

went bloody clubbing that day... got drunk for the first time in my life and i *

well life at MMI goes on. right now it's ten ten in the night and i'm doing my overnight duty at the SAF ward at Alexandra Hospital....

alexandra hospital is full of funny people...
that day after the previous overnight duty when i was walking to the bust stop to take a bus back to MMI, in front of me on the winding path from the lobby to the bus stup were two babes wearing white skirts...

my stupid army shoes were making noise... since they were wearing white skirts... well yea.. could see they were both wearing thongs. then they heard my footsteps and they turned around... looked me up and down and started giggling...

then continued walking on... what's so funny about a stupid guy ina dumbass number 3 uniform? sheeshh... early morning come laugh at my appearance... kick their butts man...

ah welll... registering for riding on saturday and my parents made me make a deal. after i get my bike license, i can't buy a bike till i finish getting my driving license... damnit... that sucks mate... seriously...

anyway i better go call kairi now before i... ok i'm just missing her ok that's all... i'm human too...
chao

life's so fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-08T19:41:00.000+08:00

bloody fucking hell

my bro came 5th in class in SJI for CT2. sec 1
bloody hell 5th]

that's not even so great...

and he got a $160 crumpler for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i got into RI, topped the level in a few tests... let's see now... did way tougher papers and still managed to get a 64+ average...

and what did i get?

to be the hockey waterboy.... gosh... life's so fair....

drowning

2006-08-31T18:54:00.000+08:00

Don't pretend you're sorryI know you're notYou know you got the power to make me weak insideGirl you leave me breathlessBut it's okCause you are my survivalNow hear me say...I can't imagine life without your loveAnd even forever don't seem like long enough'Cause everytime I breathe I take you inAnd my heart beats againBaby I can't help itYou keep me drowning in your loveEverytime I try to rise aboveI'm swept away by loveBaby I can't help itYou keep me drowning in your loveMaybe I'm a drifteror maybe notCause I have known the safety of flowing freely in your armsI don't need another lifelineIt's not for meCause only you can save meOh, can't you seeI can't imagine life without your loveAnd even forever don't seem like long enough(Don't seem like long enough, yeah)Cause everytime I breathe I take you inAnd my heart beats againBaby I can't help itYou keep me drowning in your loveAnd everytime I try to rise aboveI'm swept away by loveBaby I can't help itYou keep me drowning in your loveGo on and pull me underCover me with dreams, yeahLove me mouth to mouth nowYou know I can't resistCause you're the air that I breatheEverytime I breathe I take you in (everytime I breathe, yeah)And my heart beats againBaby I can't help it (baby I can't help it)Keep me drowning in your loveAnd everytime I try to rise aboveI'm swept away by loveBaby I can't help it (Baby I can't help it)Keep me drowning in your love (Loooooooooooooooooove)Baby I can't help itKeep me drowning in your love (Keep me drowning in your love) Whoa, got me drowning, keep me drowning in your loveBaby I can't help it (I can't help it, can't help it, no no)Everytime I breathe I take you in (yeah I do)And my heart beats againBaby I can't help it (Baby I can't help it)Keep me drowning in your loveEvery time I try to rise above (Everytime I try to rise, rise above) I'm swept away by loveBaby I can't help it You keep me drowning in.... your love

The Downgrade.

2006-08-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

men are always trying to upgrade things.
their cars, their phones, their company, their girlfriends, their life
but there comes a time, when you can only get a buff body, peace of mind and almost complete freedom from only one source.

a downgrade. yes, the coveted downgrade, from pes A/B to pesC/E

they want to send me back for BMT. typical. leeching the blood of every male singaporean.
the whole reason why i got out of BMT was because i missed too many events because of my asthma.

i visited the asthma specialist at alexandra today. sir, my superiors were hoping that you could write me a note saying i am currently unfit for BMT due to my asthma.
oh no i can't do that. your lungs are fine. you are fighting fit.

and he wrote me a stupid memo as a consolation which isn't much of a consolation. coz this is what is written in the letter:

this young man has a history of asthma
he is very well
an exercise test is planned for 13/09/06

what the F***. I'm sure the bloody government ordered all these doctors in government hospitals to make sure we do our NS completely. looks like i'll be visiting my family doctor who knows about my history of asthma since i was a kid...

reports on that later on...

MMI

2006-08-17T20:43:00.000+08:00

Guess i haven't blogged much in recent memory...

well loads of things have happened...

life at MMI goes on... just started running clinic... god... tiring... and on top of that i'm the referral I/C which means basically i'm the foundation of PCC. Alone... well they all halp out and we stick up for each other and we're one big family but it's scary.

winnie this cute dxo had to resign because she shouted back at janet. who's also cute but has a higher rank as DXOs go. it so happens that janet shouted at her for not doing any work first. in the cardio lab...

sighs MMI is full of fucking politics... why can't it just be like clubbing. guy touch girl girl touch guy... chien puh ren very happy...

anyway... i've been giving tuitions after work... gets me an extra 500 bucks a month starting this month but it's tough shit... to two tough shit kids... i'm so underpaid...

NS SUCKS!

gosh i can't wait to get the fuck out... and then... few months of freedom... and then... back to STUDIES. as in like no canoeing and all... just studies... can you believe that?
fucking hell. because to get into chemical engineering in the second year i have to study my ass off in the first year so that my grades are good and they let me opt for it. that means no training at all.. OMG I'M GONNA BECOME FAT!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

what is life all about? studying gets boring... money gets boring... girls get boring... girl's bodies get boring... gadgets get boring... the only thing that doesn't get boring are sports... and music... if only i could be one of those professionally... oh and dancing... taking classes with hamzah haha.....

HIP HOP DANCE LESSONS

2006-07-29T11:55:00.000+08:00

woooohoooooooooo.....

finally doing for dance lessons.
registered with sports council a month ago and yesteday me and my bro turned up there and voila. our class has 2 guys. wouldn't u know it. us. and 18 girls. sighs...

anyway luckily the teacher was a guy. phewf... some hamzah alsagoff from groove dance studio... he's like if u want more at the end of the 12 weeks sign up... i'm signing up... all the way with this man... i love dancing... first a dance studio... then orchard... then makeshift stage concerts... and then concerts... damn fun... this rocks man...

good lesson. did this sissy warmup... as in it really works your body but it looks sissy. like pcd or carmen electra were supposed to do it instead of hamzah and me and my bro... he's a bit gay... as all dancers are i guess..

anyway after warmup we had conditioning... hahah i can rape(thrash) all of them... thanks to canoeing... anyway... then we did the dancing...
whoa phiang... lucky i can do them... some are quite hard and need your butt to move like shakira's....

all in all it was good and fun

the night

2006-06-30T01:33:00.000+08:00

i sit here

it's 1.30 am.

i have an SAF ceremony tomorrow morning at HQ medical core.

alcohol.

Passive smoking.

Clubbing.

No cash.

i type.

i listen to songs.

i cry.

i sms.

i sms a friend who has come back from london. lubna.

i cry.

i miss her.

i message kairavi.

i don't want to talk to her now.

it hurts.

love hurts.

my thighs are bleeding.

they itch.

i scratched.

the skin came off.

the blood trickled.

i got scolded by my dad.

i am an asshole.

i can achieve nothing in life

on my way to a chem engin degree

but that's an asshole

i do the housework at the expense of my sleep and health.

i am an asshole.

i cry my heart out for kairavi.

i am an asshole.

i try to teach my fuckass brother who doesn't want to study.

i am an asshole.

i earn 350 from NS.

i am an asshole.

i'm short.

i suck.

i'm weak.

i'm ugly.

im white.

i'ma ghost.

people think i'm incapable because they made me a medic.
my parents call it a screw up

kairavi thinks talking makes everything better

i think throwing myself out of the window will.

she's right though.

told you i'm an asshole.

i'm late for work

i have long hair according to the bitch taking roll call.

one cm is long

on saturday i'm taking a group of people i dunno to the beach.

saturday night party at youjia's house.

sunday afternoon something at charis' church.

hey i got a riddle.

what's the difference between insects and zephyr?

there is none.

they're both fucking pests.

unfaithful

2006-06-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

Story of my life Searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company Hes more than a man and this is more than love
the reason that the sky is blue the clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again and to him I just can't be true and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dying I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... a murderer I feel it in the air as I'm doing my hair preparing for another date A kiss up on my cheek As he reluctantly asks if I'm gonna be out late I say I won't be long Just hanging with the girls A lie i didn't have to tell Because we both know where I'm about to go and we know it very well cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dying I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... a murderer Our love His trustI might as well take a gun and put it to his head Get it over with I don't wanna do this Anymore (anymore) I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... a murderer (a murderer)

well well well

2006-06-18T13:34:00.000+08:00

hmmm i haven't written my usual crap on this for quite a while now... this one's gonna be a long one.... hang in there.

well well well medic course ended... three weeks back and you know how they say you look like whatever u feel. look at my face in this pic and maybe you'll know how i feel... i mean i looked fucked up.

Look at my face.... I look like i woke up in zombie land... anyway...

That pic's from the day we got out postings... I got into MMI. Military Medicine Institute... It's where servicemen go for medical appointments with specialists... be it for bones, heart, lungs, bla bla bla... even psychiatric appointments...

It's in DSO building... which is like the tallest building the whole NUS campus. Next to NUH. It's tall and silver and looks like it belongs in a NASA campus. First four levels are used by NUS. next four by SAF and the rest on top by DSO. Defense something something...

So i work there from 8 to 5.30 from onday to thursday and 8 to 5 on fridays... ruddy waste of time NS if you ask me...

decided since i might pursue canoeing again in NUS or maybe dancing if i get good enough by then... i started going gym.

supposed to be thrice a week. but this week i only went once so far. and today's the last day of the week. sunday. supposed to go today... guess i won't haha... last week went thrice...

after work it's like so SIAN to go gym... you just want to go home and kick off ur shoes and watch tv...

anyway better get moving if i want something in life... so my schedule starting tomorrow will have all these things... work... tuition (maybe maybe not), temporary work, street soccer, beach, gym, a hip hop dance class on friday nights starting (28 july >> since i'm good at dancing might as well further it till however much i can), HOUSEWORK!, and if there's any time leftover... sleeping, eating and drinking.water.

went to the beach with the few medics from my platoon who turned up... memorable pics below...

shagged silly on the sand after soccer, ultimate frisbee and touch rug...

zaveed on the sand. notice his right hand flinging up sand to make the pic look like he's made a miraculous diving catch... hahaha...

looks like the grand waimaea on the tv series north shore eh? it's frikkin sentosa... we climbed the rocks opposite and took the pic.

so that was that. anyway now there are jackasses at work. like one big prick called keith. keith is the typical ah beng who smokes with a big broad face but is coming towards civilisation. he learns from experience and passes it on to me. in a fucked up way though...

i'm new on the job right... he's my upperstudy. he's gonna ORD soon. and i'll ask simple questions a newbie would ask and he's like why you ask so many questions ah? to know the answers la then u dumb fuck. why do people ask questions?? uurrrggggghhhhhhhhh.

then he'll be like you need to respect people more. u have an attitude problem. maybe he didn't realise that the only one i don't respect at work is him. coz he's undeserving of respect. i mean demanding respect is about the most pathetic thing you can do. you have to command. not demand. lamer.

then at the end of the day he'll come and tell me in a polite tone... you know why i tell you all this right? it's so that you learn the ways of things around here... and you don't get into trouble... we got into trouble when we were knew asking so many questions... so we don't want you to get into trouble....

when he and lorenzo are out of office and a phone call arrives for them. let's say they're at lunch... i call their cells and let them know.., and they're like why did you call me? as though they wanna murder me like that. and i'm like errr... to let you know? and they're like this kind of thing also you want to call ah? and the this kind of thing they're referring to is one of our superiors phoning the office and saying they want to speak to one fo them urgently. so naturally i should alert them immediately. and they don't give a shit about what the superiors say... wonder who are the real people not giving any one any respect... anyway i've decided. from tomorrow, if they say anything to me, i'm gonna fuck them back. coz i'm sick of taking shit from idiots.

at least what my parents scold and lecture me about makes complete and perfect logical sense. theirs doesn't... dumbos...

anyway.... gtg eat lunch now, hang the clothes and print out the tuition flyers and paste them around my estate....

i got into NUS into general engineering. Gonna have to study like fuck in the first year and then go into chemical at the end of the first year (hopefullY)

see ya.

she's the best

2006-05-13T19:05:00.000+08:00

through all the shit we've been through...
through all our agreements...
and our disagreements...
through all our joys...
and our sorrows...
through all our happiness...
and our pain...
through all the successes...
and the failures...

i've realised one thing. kairavi is and probably will remain the best human being i have ever met, from an unbiased point of view.
and one more. i'm just the opposite. it's true.

NS is fucked up

2006-05-13T17:35:00.000+08:00

today i went back to camp for a make up lesson

and i spent half my day therer for a ten minute lesson. yup. that's our efficient army.

i spent about half my allowance on mother's day gifts and my girlfriend's birthday.. which are both on the same day. tomorrow.

so my tomorrow is gone...

my today is gone because of that NS fuck up and this damn nose which won't stop running. the weather outside is awful

yesterday was gone going out with my brother and his friend which was so fucking boring... i'm never going out with kids six years younger than me in a hurry again no matter how old or matured they look. they suck.

the night before... bookout night was wasted burning my throat at my brother and getting him into fucking order. no parents at home week long... brother not there... madhouse galore...

i have no fucking social life...
no fitness...
no hair...
no proper relationship with my family members...
and no fucking friends...
and my weekends... the only freedom... is wasted on everything else except me...
and kairavi has A levels...
what a life.

4 more weeks to POP.PO PO P

2006-04-23T16:16:00.000+08:00

4 more weeks to passing out parade and an 8 to 5 job wooooooooohooooooooo. get to come home everyday...

it's been crazy this medic course... study and tests and study and practise and practise and tests and lectures and talks...

early morning got 5 BeX. basic exercises. haha. lame. pushups (not so lame) jumping jacks (only 20 counts of 4) squats (only 20) calf raises (sucks on a flat surface) crunches (only20)...

jackasses... haha exercise only for show... if they really want to make us train, one solid hoour of non stop movement would do it... haha... but it's for formality's sake like the sergeant said... so the big fucks are happy... hahahah

one of the smokers got caught smoking outside their smoking break and now there's a company wide ban...
i got extra fire piquet duty coz i didn't sign the book out book when i booked out of camp when i got sick... apparently it's a chargeable offence called AWOL. absence w/o official leave. but sergeant's making me do duty to remember not to do it again... but i didn't do it on purpose...i didn't even know i was expected to sign the bookout book when i'm gasping for air. apparently you are even if ur leg is chopped of. our army. the decisive force.

went to this turkish restaurant at robertson walk just now... omg... it's great... and next to it... that chocolate shop's heaven... canale? was it... something like that... canele... something la ... frikkin nice man... the mirangues are just omg...

now i gtg study... or i'm fucked... coz i'm supposed to copy this 177 line protocol out 5 times coz the sergeant thought it'll help us remember for tuesday's test...

anyway the "combat phase" of our medic course is going to start soon... in which pramit and i are not involved coz we're service medics... not combat medics... so that means slack time for the last 3 weeks of the course i hope...

saw "the sentinel" with kairavi yesterday... nice movie... you know what... eva longoria looks good with clothes on... yup... she sure does... everytime i look at her face i think of a hamster... funny...

ok really got to run now... bubye...

i can pinch my skin for the first time in months. i'm getting fat. yuck.

stupid.

2006-04-11T15:08:00.000+08:00

people were not kidding when they said eat natural stuff.

see right... just think... ok let's take someone's birthplace... as in where the genes originated from... mine's persia...

ok does persia have ice like at either pole? no... so my body is made for something like a half desert, half vegetated environment...

so assuming modernisation never took place... i'd be living there... and let's say i ate whatever was available on the terrain and did whatever could be done there... like for food...

let's think...
there wouldn't be ice cream... heck there wouldn't even be cream... just milk...
sweets... nope
chocolates.. nope...
processed bars/meats/preserves.... nope...
iced drinks.... nope... no ice...
no soft drinks...
no cigarettes... (no i don't smoke)
no alcohol

on the lifestyle side...
no air con... so we'd be tanned and muscly and without any colds and constricted airways...
no sofas... no TV... in short no procrastinative lifestyle...

no matter which way you look at it, people would almost never be sick... and even when they did... there'd be all natural and herbal medicines...

there'd be fruits and vegetables and nuts...

there'd be water and honey and milk...

there'd be grains and meat....

there'd be day long exercise to survive and hunt...

there'd be reproducing in the wild... which would be normal and not a fantasy...

humans are so stupid.

good game.

2006-04-11T15:02:00.000+08:00

So here we are at the second day of the fourth week of my medic course and voila. i'm sick again.

viral infection. anyway the doc at camp said if u can prevent viral infections, u'd be a nobel prize winner. so it's not my fault. and i was determined not to get any MCs this course. too bad i guess... not my fault what... and if the doc says go home, you have to. it's an order. coz their rank is captain which is let's see... 14 ranks above mine. ya... haha... plus you get sent to jail as insubordination is a military offence...

anyway... better rest now since i'm home, for a pathetic less than 24 hours...

School of Military Medicine, Nee Soon Camp, Week 2

2006-04-01T16:16:00.000+08:00

this week was pretty boring... actually interesting... but it's gets repetitive is what i mean...

let's see... we went "outfiled" which means just exercises in the field... the following:

dragging casualties...
transporting stretchers...
medical obstacle course...

i'm a service medic... coz I got OOT (out of training) in BMT... the majority all are combat medics... which means they got posted here after BMT... that is SO sad my god... even commandos... but then again... as we're realising.... it's a very noble vocation... 2nd to doctors... so like i was saying... since we're service we didn't have to wear long four and helmet and SBO and all... we just wore smart four... and the idiots made us do the stretcher drills too... i mean it was fun la... but in short sleeves... crawling on the grass... hell for the forearms... then next day (yesterday) we had IV (intravenous), where we practise poking our buddies and putting them on drip. if u miss the vein, you can't remove the needle and try again... you have to navigate! inside the frikkin arm. my first poke was good... second poke... the vein was deep in... so he had to... ya navigate... and i got hematoma... this swelling of blood... when the blood leaks from a vein into the surrounding tissue... doing weights tomorrow for the first time in months... hope the hematoma doesn't get worse...

had a few lectures and fuck that reminds me... i've got to study... today evening after beach road then... damn... the practicals we did fracture management...

wanted to remember how catching spiders felt like (haven't done that since primary school) and since our training shed is right next to vegetation i caught 2 yesterday evening and released them a few hours ago...

ok i was gonna go sleep now... but since i haven't studied yet... i better hang the clothes to dry and then do that instead... crap

results for applications coming out soon... already registered with the examinations board for re taking the papers though... just have to get 2 As in maths and chem to do chemical engineering or aerospace engineering that's what i feel... and i'm ready to finally get down to studying... a year late => oh well... all's well that ends well...

Service Medic

2006-03-25T00:42:00.001+08:00

the CMPB (central manpower base) E-posting order said "congrats on successfully completing your bmt. you have been posted as a service medic."

ok... that's weird considering i missed 5 days out of 7 of field camp, all the IPPTs, all the SOCs, range, re-range, the swimming cat test. the only major stuff i completed in BMT was the IMT test (got 30/32), and the SIT test, in which i did pretty well (i think). all this thanks to my blood brother in crime, asthma.

and there are people who actually think i was faking it. fake asthma? how can you fake not breathing properly? and why would I do it? ME? the guy in canoeing? the guy who was scared of the hockey coach in RI but joined canoeing in JC? i mean doesn't that point even a little bit in the positive fitness direction? and the same people in RJC used to tell me... wha lau... why you so fit man... so... assuming they meant that at RJ genuinely, it only concludes that people are jealous. they're so fucking jealous... that instead of asking or inquiring what happens during asthma, they just say "ah go and keng (slack) right?"

ok. if i was a fat kid whose boobs jiggled up and down when walking up a staircase maybe i'd lie about being sick. but i'm like 90 on a scale of 1-100 if the fat guy was 1. so like... why would i skip stuff for fun? i love training, i love fitness... i love that god damn hot uniform in NS... i hate the helmet though. so it makes no fucking sense haha... i mean... why would i skip training? i would abandon this whole study-and-become-successful modern ordeal and just train 2wice a day everyday for the olympics if given the chance. and i'd skip BMT? in falcon company? hahaha... isn't that a bit weird?

anyway, so i'm a service medic now. reported monday morning to the camp. Nee Soon camp. today is friday night... or saturday morning... 00.51 am... going sentosa with kairavi today. bought this awesome bikini with her that day at buttcheeks for 84 bucks. it's worth every cent... as i'll see later today...

it's been a fun week i guess... platoon mates are hillarious. i got daryl cheong! and pramit! damn fun... i didn't know daryl was such a hillarious and playful nutcase. hahaha... he's damn funny and keeps me laughing all day. basically, we have to fall in at 5.30 in the morning. shit. then... normal crap la... army style. but we have lessons! like frikkin students! lectures in the auditorium and hands on stuff at the training sheds with whiteboards and props... our seargents are awesome... the school is too. school of military medicine it's called.

basically quite a bit of free time. been sturggling with asthma and stuff.. getting better though... through lots of water... vicks lozenges and lots of phlegm spitting the whole week. the food here is better. the buildings are cleaner and definitely more hygienic than BMT. maybe that's why i'm recovering.

all good.

one thing i'm damn pissed about though. cash is hard to come by.

Service Medic

2006-03-25T00:42:00.000+08:00

Madonna - Sorry

2006-03-15T02:54:00.000+08:00

omg how old is madonna?

have u seen her outfits in "sorry"....

ya she's got a good body... but... i dunno... old women in those kind of outfits just... *shivers*

but you can't deny she's got style... just like michael jackson does... sighs... 2 totally misunderstood people

camo

2006-03-12T23:35:00.000+08:00

tomorrow, i'm gonna put on my camo cream, and take a picture.

it looks fucking menacing. really...

but then... it's hell for acne... see how la...

THE RE-BMT FIASCO.

2006-03-11T02:16:00.000+08:00

right... there are just too many times i've got sick in BMT to describe them all.

anyway... since about the 2nd week there, people started getting sick... so usually you go see the Medical Officer there and they check you up (avg. consultation time = 10 secs) and give you medicine and put you on light duties. for a few days... except the light duties aren't exactly right... you still have to run around the island with the rest of the platoon... as in follow them to activities and all... how in the world... can any sick person get better like that? and by eating the disgusting and unhealthy cookhouse food? no way man... hats off to those who can... i couldn't

so every time i came home for bookouts, i'd go see my doctor and get a proper MC. for like 1 or 2 days... and i'd still go back half sick... and this carried on till the last week and BMT ended two/three days ago... and i'm still sick. when u are on light duties or back from an MC, you have a status, called day1, day2 or day3... which shows the relevant day since u ended light duties or ur mc... so i missed many major activites... since i got sick around 10 times... both the medical officer and my family doctor concluded that i wasn't recovering properly each time and the intense heat there was making me sick... so now... in short... i did not participate in the passing out parade that day, 8th of march... and i'm waiting for CMPB (Central ManPower Branch) to relocate me for another BMT. in the mean time i've got to be a slave at falcon company... doing all the crap that the storemen do...

i might downgrade my PES if the asthma thing continues. not sure yet... see how...

ya i may have let down my parents and not made them proud but hey... asthma is not my doing. i didn't request to be born with it... sighs...

Brotherhood.

2006-03-11T01:59:00.000+08:00

One hears many things about NS.
NS fucks all.

But NS, forges this bond so deep, it's not exactly easy to describe.

We belong to Falcon company, for now and next to us is this obese company called Eagle company... When we finished our 24k route march (i didn't coz i was sick >> didn't take part), the whole of eagle company came to the corridors and looked down at the whole of falcon in the basketball court, half dead... and started cheering. and clapping... and singing... and when eagle completed a 4k route march... we did the same...

that is a feeling... that just brings tears to the eyes, instantly... that is a feeling that makes you think that if you have to die for those people there in the basketball court, you will, that feeling moves you inside... that feeling makes you realise that you are not alone in the quest to defend the country... makes you realise that people you don't know are with you and behind you...all the time... that feeling makes you feel at home...

that feeling makes you realise that you are the strength of the nation... that feeling makes you realise that this is your home and you have to defend it. that feeling feels like the next guy's blood and flesh is your own. that feeling makes you understand that NS is not all that bad.

That feeling... is brotherhood.

RJ rugby vs. AC rugby

2006-03-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

well well well... since the whole world talks about RJ/RI vs ACJC/ACS' rugby...

i thought i might add on.

Anglo-Chinese and Raffles. The two topmost schools of Rugby in Singapore...

Year after year, we compete for that damn title of who wins... in J1 it was Rj, in J2 it was AC... but what makes the difference in those two victories? let me share an incident with you...

in J1, when we won, and we celebrated and i went out to catch a cab near the bus stop... this group of AC people walked past... and didn't want to look high and mighty as i knew it must be hard for AC to accept defeat... well... coz they're normally so good... they are damn good... so i looked at the floor... and as they walked past... this girl screamed in my ear "raffles! raffles! motherfuckers! motherfuckers!"... my god... my respect for their school and their spirit just dropped to zero right there. and then they boarded the bus... and went away... if that was a guy... i would have just smashed him to a pulp then and there... i was just too shocked to know that a girl could do such a thing... and i just couldn't react...

and it was damn sad... to know that such a great school can have such people around... at least no one I know in RJ is a sore loser... when we lose to AC... no one screams profanities at them... we just accept that the better team won... that's what sports are all about... and when we can't accept it... we keep our mouths shut... and question ourselves... like my friend pravin was doing in J2 when we lost...

but then again... i know some great people in AC... and every school has idiots... can't generalise the whole of AC on that bitch... she was probably drunk anyway...

whatever it is... AC and RJ playing rugby are a joy to watch... whichever team wins...

one last thing b4 i sleep

2006-03-03T03:26:00.000+08:00

now it's 3.26... which means... i'm sleeping for one hour. from 3.30 to 4.30. perfect. so tonight at the camp i'll practically FALL asleep... usually takes a day to get used to the extra big pillow there, so every book in night i'm fucked. can't sleep... also the previous night at home i usually get endless sleep... so damn damn hard to sleep.... tonight's gonna be good... plus i'm sick... so no probs...

ya one last thing b4 i sleep. my girlfriend, is a babe. not coz she's perfect, but coz she's imperfect. aren't we all? but where's the fun if you got a perfect girl? as in you'd soon get bored of the perfect body, the perfect english, the perfect face, the perfect sleaze, the perfect package.

the imperfect way, is WAY better... coz with every improvement that you work towards together, in you and her, or you and him (whichever sex u are), you get little surprises along the way for life... till of course u grow old and everything grows soft and saggy. heck that'll be a surprise too ;) an unpleasant one...

The A level results and the out of course.

2006-03-03T03:11:00.000+08:00

sighs.

this was supposed to be a nice long intellectual post but it's 3.11 am right now and i have to be at the ferry terminal at 6.30am. it's friday today. so i'll save the majority of this post for sunday when we book out again.

mainly. i got B for maths, C for chem and physics, and E for bio. A2 for GP.

the A2 was a true reflection of the effort is all i can say.

i was shocked i got a B for maths. i expected a D. Coz i spent the first 1 hour of paper one trying to stop my nose leaking. and i left out 35 marks (blank!) in the second paper.

was shocked i got C for physics too. i thought it went well. apparently not...

the E for bio was expected... chem also la...

so basically i'm applying for NTU's chem engin... if i don't get in... i'll re-do As privately and then apply to NUS' chem engin. should have enough time to study as 2nd lieutenant jason messaged me today and said that i'm most probably out of course... what the F. i thought at least re course... as in re do BMT. that IS what he said during the last book-in. now out of course~! well i guess everything happens for a reason... this way i'll have time to mend my A level grades. heck even if i get into NTU, and i get out of course, i'll redo As just to get into NUS. i dunno.. the National University of Singapore just sounds better than Nanyang Technological University.

doesn't it?

my babe

2006-02-26T00:36:00.000+08:00

wow

what a date...

of course details of the date are private but in general we watched the pink panther, ate at subway, took a bus to her house, then a cab to mine.

kairavi's just... a girl... who's growing into... a babe... from her hair to her face to her figure to her clothes to the way she looks at me...

i'm in love.... la dum la dee da....